Vikramatic

This is the moment I was waiting for. A chance to present my project idea to the Analytics Department head of  my company is something I worked hard for, I shouldn’t miss this opportunity.. Rahul thought.

His phone started ringing.

He took it out from his pocket and saw Ravi calling him. surely to know where I am, he thought.

“Hello Ravi, I am still at the Mumbai airport. There is a delay here. I hope I will be there at least by 11 PM.” said Rahul

“No problem Ravi, you don’t have to come to the airport to receive me. I can manage, I have the address. I will update you if needed. Thank you. Bye.” said Rahul.

I am already crushed under the stress from my manager and now this delay! Not sure if I could get enough sleep tonight after reaching my hotel. Have to keep myself occupied, away from this tension, at least for some time.

He looked around and found a book store in the corner; he walked towards it thinking about the new releases and his to-read list.

The shelf with the INDIAN WRITING is placed at the entrance of the store where a girl is flipping through the pages of a Chetan Bhagat's book.

Something inside Rahul warned him from entering the store. He deliberately ignored the girl and the Indian writing section and went inside towards the shelves where he can find mystery novels. He saw the book 'The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo'. He wanted to read it from a long time so he picked up the book and went to the billing counter.

While paying, a book on the shelf - LOVE STORIES - got his attention. He left the book for which he paid at the counter and walked slowly towards the shelf.

A part of him wanted to run away from the place. Another part started digging into the memories which he buried in the name of past. He bent down a little and picked up the book.

 “A WALK TO REMEMBER” - written in large font on it, with the author’s name Nicholas Sparks below.

The same cover page...he thought.

He flipped through the pages, smelling the book.

Rahul, I liked the smell of the book. It is good… he heard his past speaking to him.

He turned the book around to read the prologue.

It has been couple of years since he has seen this book.

He went to the counter, paid for the book and returned from the store, with his bag in one hand and the two books in the other.

He sat at corner of a bench on which there was also a woman sitting, at the other end.

She smiled at Rahul but without reacting to her smile he opened 'A Walk To Remember' and started reading it. It is one of his favourite books which he had read years before.

Though he is looking at the book, he was unable to comprehend anything from it.

Her memories like bullets are hitting and tearing him apart.

He was tired, tired of resisting his thoughts and controlling his emotions.

He felt weak and wanted to quit, from trying to be stronger than he is.

An unknown force has engulfed him and took him into his past, the time he wanted to erase from his memories.

Even before he realized, Aarti occupied every thought of his.

****Three Years Before****

First time I met her in a training session conducted during my early days of joining the company as a fresher, where the trainer divided the audience into teams of two in each at the end of the session to present what we understood, by drawing on the sheets provided to us.

I was completely blank about what to draw on the sheet while Aarti fluently drew images, block diagrams, graphs,etc. We did not talk much with each other then. She handed over the sheet to me after final touch ups and asked me to present it to the audience.

I saw her again after few days when I went to a Sharukh movie with my colleague; Aarti joined him as they both are college friends.

She shouted and clapped whenever Sharukh made his trademark gestures. Never saw a girl so excited about a hero.

After the movie I got chance to spend quality time with her. As my colleague was a silent guy the entire conversations were between Aarti and me.

She was from Delhi, joined after me in the company; she was not interested in the IT field and wanted to get a govt. job, so was preparing for the entrance exams.

She loves chocolates, ice creams and goes gaga over anything that is pink - just like any other girl.

She said she was single and was not into any relation yet. I didn’t believe it initially.

We have spent most of the time that day at CCD. I liked the way she relished ice cream.

I knew she was going to be an important person in my life.

“Aarti do you read novels?” I said.

“Not regularly, but I love Chetan Bhagat books,” she said and added with excitement “You know what...I got his autographs on all of his books. I met him many times during his book releases.”

I liked everything about her except her interest in his books.

“Oh that’s great,” I said

“You read a lot, I guess, I have seen you few times in the Landmark reading,” she said.

I regularly visited landmark but was surprised to know that she has noticed me.

“Yes it is a habit that I picked up during college days,” I said. “Even I am a great fan of Chetan.” I lied.

"Wow is it" she said, in the happiness of meeting another Chetan fan.

Our discussions continued till dinner time; she left then saying that she has to attend a party.

"Liked her?" my friend asked me after Aarti left.

"Naa ," I said hiding my interest.

"Don't lie you **** Just from the way you talked to her anyone can understand how impressed you are. I am sure even she must have known it."

"Why don't you believe me," I said, worrying if she really had guessed my interest like my friend.

I couldn't think of anything else than her; her smile, her eyes, she was a beautiful witch who used her magic on me.

I wanted to see her again.

I got her number from her friend. At mid night couldn't control the urge to talk to her so I messaged her.

"What are you doing ? – Rahul."

Got a reply immediately "Hiya, I am about to sleep. How did you get my number?"

"From your friend."

"Mister, it is not good manners to get a girl's number without her permission and message her at mid nite ;)"

"You are too beautiful to wait till I get your number from you ;)"

":) :) "

"When can we meet again? Friday ?" I knew I acted desperately.

“Let’s see :P” she replied.

“But on one condition..” I messaged.

“What?”

“You have to promise that you won’t fall in love with me ;) ” I said recalling this line from some book.

“Idiot.”

****Months Later****

One day when I was alone in my flat, she called me. I  said I wanted to skip the lunch for that day as I was lazy to go out for lunch then.

She pleaded me to eat something, which I ignored.

After an hour the calling bell rang…

She was standing at our entrance, wearing irresistible Purple chudidhar.

“Surprise…” she shouted.

 She was tensed if anyone would see her, so she hurried inside and closed the door.

“Fruits and Maggi for you,” she said putting the cover on the dining table.

“Hey! You don’t need to get these.”

She came all the way from her hostel which was 10 km away to give me fruits !!

“Shut up dear. How can I stay happily over there when you didn’t eat anything,” she said taking out an Apple from the cover.

She came towards me, kept it in my hand and said, “Eat this while I make Maggi. Sorry I don’t know how to cook any other dish so cannot make anything more than this for now but I will learn by the time we marry,” she said with a naughty smile and went inside the kitchen.

I went inside my bed room, pulled out the gift pack which I bought for her few days back. By the time I came out into the hall the Maggi was ready and she was turning off the stove. She brought vessel and placed it on the table, beside the fruits.

I went near her.

“Shona, a small gift to you,” I said, giving the gift pack to her.

She excitedly took it from my hands, sat in the bean bag and eagerly removed the cover.

“A walk to remember,” she read out the title of the book. “Thank you Dear, what kind of a book is this? love story?”

I find her frequent usage of the word “dear” always cute.

As she doesn’t read any other genre than love stories I sticked to it while selecting.

“Yes, a good story.” I replied.

“The smell of the book is very nice,” she said bringing the book closer to her face.

“Nicholas Sparks?” she said. “Does he write better than Chetan Bhagat?”

“He writes far better than him. In fact even I write better than him.” I replied even though aware of the war that may happen.

“Don’t dare to say anything about my Chetan, I will kick you.” she said as expected, posing as if she was about to throw the book in her hand at me.

“Your Chetan?”

“Yes my Chetan. You lied to me that you are a fan of him when we went to the movie, you idiot.”

“Ok ok peace, I will fight with you after finishing the stuff you brought. I am hungry,” I said settling on the dining chair.

She pulled another chair close to me, took a fork and started feeding me the Maggi herself.

I responded involuntarily by opening my mouth, looking into her eyes I relished food. I am on cloud 9 for her gesture so did not realize that she was eagerly waiting for an appreciation from me.

“It is great,” I said, to which she blushed.

Later we ate the fruits she brought.

She picked up the plates and took them inside the kitchen, while I rested on the bean bag.

I can feel a wife-husband bond between us.

She sat beside me and started playing with my hair.

“Thanks for getting lunch, Shona” I said.

“Dear, you don’t need to thank me. I will do anything for your happiness,” she said

“I like the way you call me Shona,” she said and winked.

“Shona, I love you” I whispered looking into her eyes.

She leaned forward and kissed me on forehead. Her fragrance was irresistible and didn’t know who moved first; the distance between us reduced, my arms are around her, she closed her eyes and I felt her lips on mine, a soft kiss turned into a passionate one.

“I. Love. You.” she said with a soft moan.

****Months Later****

“Can you come to my home and talk to my parents about our marriage?” she asked.

“Shona, please try to understand, I am not settled yet, let us focus on our careers for sometime then we can confidently deal with our parents. Till then let us not get distracted.”

“Why don’t you understand my situation, it is getting difficult day by day to handle Papa. I don’t know for how long I can stretch this.”

“I can understand your pressures Shona, it is really difficult for you to handle this but what will you tell to your parents about me? that I am a software engineer in the entry level with meagre salary? Your parents will surely reject me.”

“For some time let us not think about this. Everything will be settled,” I said

“Even you have to focus on your govt. job exams. It won’t take more than a year for our careers to settle. Till then please don’t strain yourself.”

She stood where she was silently, looking down. I went near her, took her face in my hands, kissed her on lips and said.

“Everything will be all right. All I need is some time.”

“Ok dear, I will wait for you, even for years,” she said. “I love you.”

 ****Two Months Later****

For few weeks I became busy with my work load at office, returned home at late nights and worked even on weekends. I couldn't meet Aarti during that time, we talked few times on phone but she didn't talk to me like before. I thought she was angry as I was not sparing enough time.

One day I came to know a shocking news about her.

I waited for her near her house. I couldn't even tell in which mood I was in.

Shocked. Angry. Sad.

She came out to meet me an hour later, I didn't want to know the reason for being late as I have more important things to clear.

 "Shona, are you engaged?" I asked in hope to hear from her that what I heard was not true.

"It has to happen Rahul, if not today, tomorrow," she said looking down at her engagement ring.

I understood what she wanted to show with her gesture.

“Why din’t you tell me about this before? I wouldn’t have even known this if your room mate hasn’t mentioned it. Why did you plan to go away secretly from me,” I said.

“Rahul I am afraid how you would react to this. My parents are particular about this so I had to accept.” she said.

“You should have at least told me when your parents are forcing you, right? Do you really like him?”

“Acha bacha tha, care hain mujhpe, my parents liked him a lot, he earns well too...anyhow you are busy with your career and don't have any time for me,” she said without looking at me.

“Caring…earns well too..” I repeated controlling my urge to slap her.

“Rahul, my parents cannot wait any more, so I had to accept it, please think about my situation also. I can’t even say to my parents that I like you. They will kill me.”

“If you know that your parents will not agree why did you push me all these days to talk to them,” I said losing my control.

“You said you cannot live without me, you said that you will wait for years for me…you couldn’t even wait for few months? Do you call this Love?” I said, raising my voice.

“Please don’t talk like this. You didn’t understand me, I asked you to talk to my parents but you didn’t and now you are blaming me.”

“Why are you in a hurry to marry?”

“I told what I have to Rahul, I am sorry to hurt you. Let us not discuss anything else... ab kuch nahi ho saktha,” she said and went away.

She did not say anything else, she din't even turn back to look at me.

It is not going to be easy for me, I realized, life without her will not be the same, I can feel a part of me leaving and the other part paralyzed.

At that moment, the moment when she was going away I realized how deeply I was in love with her, I felt like a lonely person on an island about to die, waiting for help. But no one came.

I didn’t say anything though I wanted to shout. I stood where I was, with tears running down my cheeks.

I waited there till I could see her, in hope that she will turn back but she didn’t.

This is her cold-blooded side which I couldn't even imagine before.

I didn't want our story to end there; I wanted it to continue forever. I wanted to run behind her, and pull her back into my life. But I didn’t.

I returned home with a feeling of numbness, with all my dreams shackled. I wanted to talk to her, woo her and make her mine again, but couldn't talk to her for the way she behaved.

Two days later I called her at night, I got call waiting response, I tried again, but still the same, I don’t know why but I dialled her number again and again, after many dials she answered the call ..“Rahul what is this? Why are you calling me at this time?” she said in hurry.

At this time? I was surprised not knowing what was unusual with that time.

Even without waiting for my reply “My fiancee calls me daily at this time, please understand, what should I tell him if I talk to someone else when he calls me. Bye” she said and disconnected the call.

I didn’t understand her logic nor did she cared to explain but I was deeply hurt.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I have spent the entire night looking at her pics that I have and watching the random congrats and all the best messages on her facebook wall, might have been for her happy future with her “caring” fiancée.

The next day morning I got a message “Rahul, I cannot do anything now, I have to think about my parents too, you are a very good person and I am sure you will get a better girl than me. Please don’t waste your time thinking about me. I don’t want anything to disturb my relation with my fiancee. Try to understand. All the best.”

I visualized myself throwing my phone at the wall in front of me.

The message clearly summed up her rejection of my love, her affection towards her fiancée and also a clear message to not to disturb her again, everything “sugar coated” with a good conduct certificate of my character.

****Present****

If at all she has waited few more months my life would have been completely different, why didn't she understand me, did she really love me? Did she take a decision just for the sake of money?

Or did I act cowardly at the time when she asked me to talk to her parents? Yes I was afraid, but was afraid of losing her if her parents rejected me then.

They say “Time heals everything,” it is the biggest lie that everyone believes. My wound still pains, time has made me weaker and more prone to your thoughts.

I worked harder and made myself busier without leaving anytime for myself, just to get out of her memories.

But I couldn’t.

Every moment I wish whatever has happened is just a bad dream and that I would wake up one day with her beside me.

Why did you do this to me? Why did you leave me?

I still love you Shona. I still do.

He heard the announcement about the arrival of his flight.

May be I shouldn't have given a tragic book.. he thought looking at the book in his hand.

He closed the book and kept it aside, on the bench.

He stood up, took his bag, looked around for the way to go and walked towards the checking.

After taking a few steps he turned around and saw the book at the place where he kept it.

Shona, I wish I could leave your memories just like the way I left this book...